Between Thanatos and Eros
by Skye Aerrow
Summary: Formerly entitled Too Late. What happens when Sarah's only alternative to suicide is the Goblin King, a man she isn't even sure exists anymore? When she pulls the trigger and he's not there, will it be too late to forgive him?


Skye Says: Thanks, everyone, for your reviews. Due to an overwhelming dissatisfaction with the way things ended, I'm pleased to announce that Too Late has been renamed Between Thanatos and Eros, and is now officially multi-chapter.

Enjoy.

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End of the Line

She hunches over the paper, scribbling furiously as hot, bitter tears course down her cheeks. She whispers something as she writes, and for a moment, it seems as if she's praying. The words are intense, each one backed by an incredible amount of emotion. She repeats the phrase over and over again, enunciating clearly despite her sobs.

"I wish the goblins would come take me away, right now. I wish the goblins would come take me away, right now. I wish the goblins would come take me away, right now..."

Over and over again, Sarah forms the words on her cracked lips. The pen flies over the paper as she speaks, though the words she's writing aren't anything like what she's saying.

"I wish the goblins would come take me away, right now…"

_To whom it may concern…_

"I wish the goblins would come take me away…"

_Did you honestly expect me to pretend like none of this was happening?_

"… right now…"

_Did you really think I was seriously "okay"?_

"I wish…"

_That none of it bothered me?_

"… the goblins would come take me away…"

_That I wasn't joking when I said, "I'm sure everything will be okay"?_

"… right now…"

_Well, I have news for you: I'm not as dumb as you think. I've known _exactly _what's been going on, even though you'd like to pretend I don't._

"I wish the goblins would come take me away, right now. I wish the goblins would come take me away, right now. I wish…"

_I found Toby's medical records. At first, I was confused- after all, eight year-olds don't get cancer, or at least, that's what I thought._

"… the goblins…"

_But then… I realized that it was true; that the bruise that didn't go away was more than "just a bruise", that the visits to the doctor for "check-ups" were so much more life-threatening._

Sarah stops for a moment as a tear splatters onto the page. She can hear her roommate singing in the shower.

_I did some researching, and I've figured out that Toby has leukemia. I guess you already knew that, but it's the only way I guess _I _was ever going to find out._

"I w-wish-" her breath hitches in her throat. She inhales deeply. "I wish the goblins would come take me away right now."

_It's terminal in most cases, which I'm guessing you also already knew, seeing as how you've asked Toby to make a "list of things you've always wanted to do- no matter how crazy they seem". Thinking about it now, maybe I should've realized what was going on._

"Jareth…" Sarah whispers almost reverently. "Please…"

The pistol she bought three weeks ago seems to glow from its hiding spot inside the desk.

"Jareth, I need you."

_You should've told me the truth, instead of trying to shelter me like you have. Sure, I don't come home very often, and I barely write, but don't you think you could've mentioned it just once? By trying to hide Toby's illness from me, you've done an astounding amount of damage._

There's still no response. More tears fall from her emerald eyes, smearing the ink on the letter below.

"I… I wish the goblins… would come… take me away, right now."

_So much damage, in fact, that it's going to be impossible to repair. Besides that, I can't bear to face you knowing that anything you say from now on could be a lie. I'll never be able to trust you again, nor will I ever want to._

Her hand begins to shake as a tremor passes through her body. She blinks- saltwater stinging her eyes- and tries to convince herself that Jareth _will _come. Surely he hadn't forgotten about her.

_I don't think I'd be able to handle Toby's death, either. _

She glances at the worn hardback resting on the edge of the desk, remembering how real it once seemed to her.

Surely the king inside the book had heard her. Surely he was going to come to her rescue.

"I wish the goblins would come take me away, right now."

_So, I guess… I guess this is goodbye. At this very moment, I'm sitting in my dorm room with a gun pressed to my head-_

A bit of embellishing on her part- the gun was still wedged in the drawer between an issue of _Glamour_ and a tattered copy of _War and Peace_.

Surely Jareth wouldn't let her kill herself. He'd save her from commiting suicide, wouldn't he?

_It's loaded. I've made sure of that. When I pull the trigger in a few minutes, it's lights out for good._

_Don't bother apologizing. It's too late._

_Not like I'd accept your apologies, anyway._

Thirty minutes have passed. Still no sign of the Goblin King.

_This is where I end this letter, and I guess this is also where I end my life._

_Not that you actually care. Now, you can turn my old bedroom room into that game room you've always wanted._

_Tell Toby I love him- I always will, even if you don't believe it. I want him to have anything of mine he wants, because I'm not leaving _you two _anything._

She swallows the lump in her throat as the tears continue to roll down her cheeks.

The letter is nearing its end.

Her gaze falls on the drawer, which is open slightly. As a sliver of fear knifes against her stomach, she realizes that she's put it off long enough,

It's obvious that Jareth isn't going to come for her. He either doesn't hear her or doesn't care, and she isn't entirely sure which one is worse.

_I have one final request, though. Think of it as a way to atone for your sins._

Sarah's trembling hands clasp the pistol tightly, holding onto it as if it were a matter of life or death- which, in a way, it actually is.

He isn't coming. He was never coming.

Jareth never truly cared about her.

_On my desk, there's a porcelain figure of a man._

She jabs the barrel of the gun against her temple, fighting back the urge to vomit.

_On the base of the figure are the words, "Jareth, the Goblin King"._

The shower has stopped. Sarah's pulse quickens.

_I want you to take that statue-_

She struggles to set her index finger against the edge of the trigger. Sweat trickles down her forehead.

_and destroy it._

The sound of a doorknob turning jars Sarah from her thoughts.

She takes one last look at the letter, heart pounding against her ribcage so fiercely that it's a wonder she's still alive.

Her breath is heavier now, her chest tighter. She feels as if she's about to suffocate.

A grim sense of purpose stirs her as she takes one final look at the words she's written, applying slight pressure to the trigger as her tongue stumbles over the words.

"I want you to take that statue and destroy it," she chuckles, teetering on the edge of hysteria. "Destroy the Goblin King."

The sound of footsteps barely registers in her mind as she applies more pressure, screwing her eyes shut.

"Hey, Sarah, have you started studying for- oh my gosh, is that a _gun_?"

"Goodbye, Jareth," Sarah whispers hollowly.

Her roommate screams as the pistol discharges, but by that time, it's too late.

Not even Jareth can save Sarah now.


End file.
